Life Update & Moving Forward

Spring fairs have come and gone, and I am finally feeling like I can begin to write and share again after a very stressful season. If anything, it has shown me exactly what I need to focus on to grow and move forward. So, here's the life update -

The magic number is 288. I have lost 288lbs. That is insane, magical, and I am so proud of how far I've come. The work really paid off when I was so skeptical of even considering this journey. And not just weight loss either, but reclaiming my energy, vastly improving my mental and emotional health, and being able to find myself admist all the tower moments and absolute chaos that has ensued over the past 2 years. I've lost friends, gained a new tribe, rekindled relationships that seemed long gone, and I'm starting to finally feel comfortable just being myself. For those of you who have stuck by me thru this whole transformation, thank you so so much. I could not have done this without all your words of encouragement, support, and love. I am truly grateful to have you in my corner of the universe! And of course, all of this just in time for another big shifting tower moment! Isn't this life beautiful and grand?

I very much mean that sincerely. Part of the mental shift over the past 2 years has been one of complete vunerability, intense change, and an insane amount of forward movement and growth. Now, with the my first surgery scheduled for December 10th, nothing has been more of a priority than myself and my health. I have to put myself first, I have to feel worthy of doing that, and I need to change just about everything I've been doing up until now. I've said it before and I'll say it again - maintenance is a new beast for me. I have done really well sticking to my nutrition and strength training, but now I need to stop losing weight, get my calories to a more sustainable level, and begin muscle building to move myself foward and (most importantly) be able to properly heal after surgery.

My wake up call? This past NJ Rennaisance Faire... I felt I was doing relatively well until I couldn't last more than a day in the heat/wind/cold/etc that we had this year. One weekend, I had a full blown panic attack - for context, it's been about 20 years since the last one of this magnitude - and I remember getting out of breath, and the next thing I remember was being picked up off the ground. Something about the whole run of the faire made it very clear to me that I needed to start increasing my food intake. I also needed to be smart about it. I was already working with my doctor and a dietitian, but those weekends made the need very clear. Since then, I have made some huge strides and I am so very proud of myself and how far I've come, but I still have such a long way to go.

Shifting my mindset from someone always putting their needs on the backburner, ultimately to not make waves, stir the pot, make others uncomfortable, to I am worthy of being healthy, loved, and taken care of, is such a gargantuan switch. That's where I need to be. Others seem to think that about me, so why is it so hard for me to think that way? And the whole 'me first' things sounds so selfish, but is it really?

Through this journey, I have found out so much about myself that I feel like even though yes, I am very much the same Trinity that I have always been, I almost feel like I've taken on a new identity. All of it was already there, but I squashed it for one reason or another. Let me share what I've found...

I am so ambitious, and I know I am capable of accomplishing my goals. I am resilient - bold statement because in my mind I always felt like a very weak person in both mind and body. I am strong - mentally, emotionally and physically! Guys, I lift weights now, I love lifting, and I just recently shifted from weight loss mode to muscle building mode because I also found that I love this body that I'm in and I want to protect it as best I can. This vessel has been thru so much with me, and I am finally giving it the care and attention it needs because I feel like I am worthy of it. I am smart, and to add to that, I am getting to know my (self-induced for the most part) limitations, acknowledging them, and then breaking thru the ones that matter to me. It's an incredible journey this life.

And the cycle continues - I have found that once I reach one goal, that there's a need to move forward to the next. Always growing, always evolving, and always striving to be better than I was yesterday. I could stop - I could decide that this is enough and stay where I'm at. Stagnation has NEVER been my way. Stagnation often looks easier than growth, but they are both hard. And life gives us the option to choose which we want to embody. A stagnant mindset sees challenges as obstacles to avoid, fearing failure or the judgment of others. A growth mindset sees every challenge as an invitation to rise, knowing that courage is built by stepping beyond the comfort zone.

Stagnation whispers, "If you fail, you aren't good enough." Growth replies, "Every setback is a lesson, every mistake is wisdom, and every step forward—no matter how small—is progress." True growth isn't about never falling; it's about choosing to stand up stronger each time.

A stagnant mindset views feedback as criticism and lets it diminish confidence. A growth mindset receives feedback with humility and gratitude, understanding that every insight is an opportunity to refine, improve, and become the person they are meant to be.

A stagnant mindset compares, competes, and resents the success of others. A growth mindset celebrates every victory—both its own and others'—because another person's light never dims your own. Instead, it serves as a reminder of what is possible when passion, perseverance, and purpose come together.

Keep moving forward...

Growth begins the moment you choose curiosity over fear, resilience over doubt, and possibility over limitation. Every challenge you embrace, every lesson you learn, and every step you take transforms not only your abilities—but the person you are becoming.

As for me, I will choose growth every time.

I am sharing this as a life update, but I do hope you find value in this navigating your own journey. Where are you growing? Who do you need to become to accomplish your dreams? I hope you decide to follow and grow with me. Blessed be.

Please remember that every share, donation, and word of encouragement brings me one step closer to my upcoming skin removal surgeries.

If you're in a position to donate, no matter the amount, I am deeply grateful for your support. If donating isn't possible right now, sharing my GoFundMe with your friends, family, and social networks is just as meaningful and helps my story reach others who may be able to help.

This journey has been long, and I couldn't have come this far without the incredible kindness, love, and support of this community. Thank you for standing beside me through every milestone. Your generosity, encouragement, and shares truly make a difference.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your continued support. ❤️